{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Friday, 9 November 2007

title:{Be strong (my part)}

oh yess!! i went down to meet dar..and before tat my mum & i had a massive war lah.she thinks i'm unfit to go out all tat & kp saying i'm desprate all that.

den she say that she dun give a damn abt cooking my share of dinner all that,blah,used to her saying all these stuffs since i noe she's being lonely.

but den i feel gd so i decided to meet dar awhile which become a dinner with him at s11 and walking ard tampines area and gg his house to watch the remaining bleach episodes with him and sending him off at tanah merah. i'm really zai man!

and was reading through goatie's blog...i could somehow feel her loneliness though i am not a single child.weird isnt it?? a youngest child in the house able to understand how a single child feels..hahaha.

heh..at times i also find that i grow up like no other single child.yes,i have a sibling,but this sibling of mine is 10 years older than me,imagine...when i'm 4 years old and wanting someone to play with me,my brother will be schooling and having his ECA(now named as CCA) and chilling with his friends as a secondary two boy.

well,somehow i just feel i'm way luckier than her.i have my best friend to be with me and whatever i wanna share,its just a sms away.be it he's in camp or whatever.

you may say that i am be dependent and a i-would-love-to-stick-to-mr-boyfren-24/7 gal,you may also say i crave attention and am a self centred person.yes lah,i dun deny 1 fact that i want his attention coz i feel that he is someone that i can speak to without hising anything,other than twin & my office tat cleaning auntie.

dar will not feel alone coz he has a younger sister a year younger than him and when he's young they fought alot for toys,sweets,tv,whoever go down to buy snacks for cartoon at 5pm,i think they even fought to the extend who is gonna hug that bolster tonight to sleep. LOL!! (okies..last one is i any how 1)

but for me leh?who do i fought with??no one..but my toys..hahaha
i'm considered a loner in my kindergarden,primary sch and lower sec sch days lah..till i became gd friends with woan rong,minhuey,mark,shiyi they all in band.though i was "best friends" with eileen & adeline,but somehow all our character doesnt fit and we always end up quarrelling and angry over small little things.

and which is one reason why i always enjoy band,i go to school is beacuse of that.i can play and be crazy with my section people,band mates and juniors.and even up till now our friendship still maintains.

though was quite saddening that minhuey always didnt have time to meet up with us ever since she went to jc and started her new life at rifle range.we were quite disappointed in fact but couldnt do anything about it coz she seems to be drifted from us,hard to reach out.and then slowly,it starts to feel strange to talk to her coz it seems like talking to a stranger,no longer the chripy person i had known.

and few months before my sec 5 ends,i became close to a few guys in my class and had study group after school.my POA that time was all the way F9 and my POA teacher then,Mrs Lam,keep asking me to drop this subject as i cannot do well for it.heh...but somehow i found my new strength after forming a 3 person study group along with raymond(froggy) and jeremy(dar).we would meet up for lunch after school and stay at the study area to do our work till evening before going home for dinner.and eventually,my effort pays off and i got a C5 for my POA in the end.and of coz rather sadly,i only concentrated on 1 subject that i did rather badly at the other main 3 subjects that are required to go poly.i missed them by a grade for maths,english and science. So ended up in ite taking accounting course.

ite was another chapter in my life.and had gone through alot for the 1st year.i retook my english and maths o level,maintained my studies in ite and did quite well.but i choose to continue my ite even though my o levels aggregate were good enough for a course in poly.

in the first part of the school semester i was close to ah bao and swing(no longer in our clic).swing is a nice ger but just that sometimes she mind too much into our personal stuffs that we were quite offended.she treats her friends well and knows to listen when we feel down,but then we dont really know how to treasure her good points and always think of her bad points.we share locker together and there were 2 times where she forgot to lock the locker and made bao and me quite pissed off.but then she didnt deserve to get that harsh treatment from us.i could still remember that day after school jing yun,jing yi,bao and me sat down at those study tables after we found out she forgot to lock the locker and left the locker hanging.so we wrote a small note for swing and requested her to return the locker key to us.the poor girl cried badly,in fact i felt quite guilty up till now that i didnt do anything about that matter.

she may have her bad points,but she is a human after all.she likes to make unnecessary comments at us,but that is her character.why cant we accept for who she is and try telling her face to face than giving her cold looks without giving her a single warning.

she wont be able to see this entry as my blog is private and she doesnt know this blog as well.but i would really want to apologise and tell her that we were childish and did that without thinking about her feelings.[it sounds like a back stab right?]

we were only 17,18 then,but it didnt gives us the right to hurt people who are our friends despite how much we dont like how she behaved.

i'm sorry suying.

and then after that she left the clic broken hearted and in disappointment after seeing the true colours of how her once best friends treated her,like shit.
even in 2nd year i dont say hello to her,only ah bao does,but i can see that she is having a happy time with her other clic who opened their welcome arms at her.i dont blame her for not saying hello or bye bye to me,coz i know that i had done something mean to her and i dont deserve that friendly gesture from her.

the fittest will always survive,so its even better for her to leave this hinderous place and search for the better place were she can be happier.

after suying left,the clic maintained a happy one for the next few months because i know that after this matter,there'll bound to be things happening soon.we looked closed from outsiders eyes, we still keep a distance from each other for private life and not very steady whenever we made decisions to go out during holidays coz it'll end up one of us going overseas,working or some other things cropped up.or maybe i should say that we only stick to each other coz we want to look strong in school.

and shortly after rene joined our clic and all the way till now..but what i can say is the 'gam' feeling we used to have is gone le.

things in life change alot..one day u may be enemies with a person,another day ur may turn out to be good friends,and vice versa.

but whatever it may be,just treasure the people around you who are still your friends for now.

9:11 am;

N {LA VOISINE}